Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
