oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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