she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
