And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
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you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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