Your face is a jimmy john
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
