I puked a lego.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
