4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
