i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
