Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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