I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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