dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
