There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
