you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
