when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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