I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
