You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
