he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
