Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think my tv is drunk
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
