I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
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I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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