Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
