Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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