I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
