do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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