what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
