I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
