So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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