If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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