Define "chronic" masturbator.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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