I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
