Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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