What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
