Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
