I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
