It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Can I color on your dick again?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
