I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
