i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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