I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
