So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize