Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
