god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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