I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
