just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
