Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
