Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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