Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
