Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
