I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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