I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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