is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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