This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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