I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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