My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
