i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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