so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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