In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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