I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
