Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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