I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
