question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize