walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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