If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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